The Christian Family Part 2
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I’m talking about the Christian family yes the book of Psalms chapter 127 verses one through five and I want you to use this for the no the whole series this will definitely be my introduction scripture to show you that God has a way of defining marriage defining family defining dating defining parenting defining divorce defining remarriage and keep being the initiator of this whole relationship business has the best view has the best philosophy has the best idea and we are his children we have to line up with his word so see what it says here except the Lord builds the house in parenthesis the word house if we open the parentheses we say unless the Lord builds a family unless the Lord builds a marriage unless the Lord’s bill builds Parenting unless the Donald build relationship dating coding the labor in vain who try to go in these endeavors except the Lord keep the city the watchmen work at but in vain it is waiting for you to rise up early to set up late to eat the bread of sorrows for so he giveth his beloved sleep lol children are a heritage of the Lord and a fruit of the world is his reward as arrows are in the hand of the mighty man so our children of the youth happy is the man does have his quiver full of them they shall not be a shame but they shall speak with enemies in the gates so when we talk about Christian Christian family when we talk about relationships when we talk about marriage when we talk about dating when we talk about all these things we have to Take it from the space stone porn porn of you of the Bible that so many questions there are so many subjects in this package that is like taboo it’s not easy for you to find a place where people talk in the church about sexuality and when they talk about sexuality it’s all in the negative it’s all about the red flags red flags red flags but when you read in the Bible there are so many references were so clear about sexual activity well if it’s good forgot to say it what is not good for you and me to talk about it and I said that it’s good for your children to listen to this sermon from me at least they will have a Christian perspective a wise define castle from the word of God because what do you like it or not your kids will be exposed to sexual material it’s not some of them probably are right now Yeah I have found that people who come out of the closet called and called to say I am gay at that point it’s almost impossible for them to go back when a person comes out and say you know what I’ve been married to my wife for so many years we have so many kids but I’ve never been happy I’m now going to follow the passion of my heart which is being in a same-sex relationship according to Romans chapter 1 at that point they have gone past a place of return know if you want to save a person if you want to help a person who have self serve such a same-sex weakness or attraction and those things are real when people come to church the church has created an environment where people try to put the stupidest show You’ll be surprise even preachers even men and women who have those tendencies when people are still in the closet most of them get to a place where they feel suicidal because most of them have tried to get rid of it to get rid of it and it’s not working so it be like I’m out of my might as well just in my life here no women in the church with being with the children of God we have to create an environment where if any one of us is troubling those things they should feel safe enough to talk about it so that we may help them out and there is help out but once they have establishing out in the hot tub it’s impossible for me to get help in the church and then go out it’s impossible for them to come back so if you ask me Pastor Eddie what is the Bible position on some thing like homosexuality a man Falling in love with a man a woman falling in love with a woman the first thing I’d like to do is don’t look at the person who has those Tennessee as an enemy or as a wicked person treat them just like you would treat a person who have an issue telling truth who has an issue keeping his hands away from other people’s property and try to show them that your love for them is still as strong as it has always been that you are not here to beat them upside the head you are here to show them away and the reason way out that way is a way of love it’s a way of care it’s a way of let me show you grace because you know the Bible says for sunshine not have power over you for you are not under the law but you are under grace in other words if you truly embrace people with the real grace of God it will always set them free Aman praise God so if win Don’t talk about these issues we have a problem and that we as children I’ve got the same thing we have people who are married we have people who are dating and the things they’re doing it’s either against the wheel it’s either against a cop we have to talk about it no me as a pastor I will be very respectful I will not be no vulgar or anything like that OK man OK so that was just a way to introduce self in this series let me refresh my notes here and tell you in this series as I’m talking about the Christian family I will be talking about dating I will be talking about marriage I will be talking about sex sexuality that’s not a bad word and I want our kids to get to a place where they understand the SEX word is not a dirty word it’s a clean word and an even physical organs feels good when I called physical arguments of a male or a female those are not dirty words to you It becomes dirty if you use strict language vulgarity but in the Bible does physical attributes that every human being has is a female 0000 football mail they are described in the proper value in the Bible so if I use a word to describe our physical attributes of a man in front of my son I am not being disrespectful I’m actually telling him the truth and whether I like it or not it’s just a matter of time before he starts using those words anyway so he might as well get it for me are you there are we talking about parenting I’ll be talking about divorce I’ll be talking about remarriage I’m trying to to cool off a little bit because I have some very good stuff to talk about here we say that the blueprint for family the blueprint for marriage comes from God you remember how in the beginning the Bible says and God say Genesis chapter 1 verse 27 to do a 26 or 27 let us make man And in our image and in our likeness and he made them male and female created he them when God created us it was him who conceived the idea of being together now we go even further in Genesis chapter 2 where God says it’s not good for man to be come on talk to me somebody it’s not good for man to be alone so it’s not good for you to be alone and by passing here let me tell you this you are not too old to get married Jessica’s here she can tell you remember Vicky Vicky men’s had a sister oh and then she she was dating a guy called Wylie and ride around the time we’re leaving Oregon Wally and in the end window Lisa were coming to Hawaii on the honeymoon but how old was Wall-E he was in his late 80s Yeah so just to tell you this if that says it’s not good for man to be alone it’s not good for you to be alone most people have gotten to a place where I have tried this several times and I have felt I’m just giving up God says it’s not good for you to be alone you’ve got to say it’s not good for you to be alone just say yes it’s not good for me to be alone what 104110 for the brothers here and it’s OK I can use his name because he he he’s allowed me to sell his mom came here around 2014 she had been a single woman for a long time she moved to Canada she’s in her 70s as soon as you’re in Kento Canada Sagaya looked at her and say all this is the best thing ever and they thought it was a joke no and the guy was not like a pool guy loading him in he’s got it and that she’s taller than him he’s shorter she’s slim he’s got extra Extra layers Eminem you know his 505 this way but look at this woman she never gave up so you are not too old to get married you’re not too old to get married it’s God wants you to have someone in your life a man today I want to talk about dating I want to talk about dating somebody may say well I’m already married I don’t need to date no you need to date in fact if you are married you need to be dating as much as possible because when when you get married you start taking each other for granted and somethings starts to die not die but we just go down so dating is a healthy thing for you but before I talk to some of us who are like me about dating I want to start with some of us some of the people who are not married Was saying OK what is dating dating for singles is just a time to go out and share values principles goals because you want to get married it’s not a time for kissing or sexual contact and it’s not an excuse for fooling around when when when you want to go on a date let’s say you see a lady or you see a man dating is get your freak on some people always say can boyfriend and girlfriend kiss that’s my daughter right she’s reacting already baby I want you to hear all these things OK yeah it’s not bad subject if you’re not married to a person and that person shows interest in you and you oh you show interest in that person can you kiss well can to people kiss what does kiss what what kind of testing or we talking about here are we talking about mouth-to-mouth here Oh are we talking about check the chicken here are we talking French kissing do you want me to expect in French kissing how it happens right some of you may be made right now and then come back here I’m not done yet all right I’m not gonna go in the practicality the thing is this dating when you’re dating a person you do not have to lower down your standards you do not have to lower down your values when you know that playing with a gun is very dangerous why are you playing with a gun especially when the gun is loaded In fact on the very first that you should establish those things what are we going this year for if you’re going to ask this single woman to go out establishing your heart that you are not you are not going to go out with her just to check in to try but are you want to go out with her because you wanna bury her do you want to do the right thing I know a guy who was dating for women at the same time and I asked him brother what are you doing he says well I’m getting ready to choose a wife I can choose only one does one option I need to have multiple options to compare the multiple options to make a choice I told him you probably need to be delivered from that Playboi spirit you have a serious issue so when you go out on a date it’s to establish your values a new guy from the Congo in Canada he was going to marry this white Canadian woman when he was dating Told her that when he grew up he ate the kind of food do you have to wash your hands and you have to squeeze it in your head or you have to dip in sauce he told this woman he’s OK with carrots he’s OK with broccoli he’s OK with cheese and he’s OK with cauliflower brother when he got married it was hell to pay for this guy he was always starving he would wait until she went to bed for him to go even get water and mix it with sugar and get bread so that he can feel his tummy what I’m saying is this and that’s just a Monday and example when you are going to date a person it’s a time for you to express values is for you to express your goals your philosophy your principles in life I was telling you last last week we don’t get married because we don’t Luv unless that love you talking about is the God kind of love when people say I’m in love they actually mean I am physically attracted to you but what Attraction rate some women before they get they get married they still hit the gym their body is so toned like Serena Williams it’s just for a time but after that they start eating the bonbons everything comes back to normal if you were married just for the physical aspect you set yourself up for big trouble I know some women who can never marry a guy who wears size 40 pants he can go hit the gym and he can cram some thing on himself and not be himself have you realize that when God created Adam and Eve that we’re both naked and we’re not ashamed what is the idea that idea is when you’re going to date me or self don’t try to put make up when I say make up I’m not talking about the physical because a woman always looks better with the make ups on right and you know that right right do you believe with me that the house looks better with the paint on the Right right right food food taste better with a little salt on it right so you don’t want to put that make up on shame on you right but the make up I’m talking about here is pretending it’s pretending to be something you are not one of the things you wanna do is be secure in who you are be secure in your flesh except yourself for who you are except yourself for who you are I do not believe that God made any person ugly for the Bible tells us I am fearfully and wonderfully made and you may look at yourself as a female to say I’m too old I’m getting to ugly there’s a guy who look at you say wow this is the best thing since butter popcorn but it’s all up to you I have I have also learned that if you have no confidence in yourself it will also always show the way you carry yourself I have seen some women who is who are plus size but the way the dress you could feel confidence with some women who is size 0 it was still very sloppy the problem is be confident in who you are to be confident in who you are you have to see yourself from the inside out if your heart is good it will show out good Jesus told us about why you don’t have to look good on the inside and the inside you are rotten he says don’t be like a tomb but on the outside it’s white washed but the inside is decaying bones so when we go dating you are not going to go dead just just because I need to go out every weekend now do you want to go out because you are determined to follow God if you are a single person dating is different from when you are a married man and I’ll get you the married folks for us a second Married people needs to be dating dating dating is very important it’s a refreshing it brings that flame of erotic laughter is supposed to be alive in you but when you are a single person you have an opportunity not to date anyhow when you are a single person don’t chip in yourself you are not desperate don’t don’t be so desperate when you’re so desperate to get in a relationship you will end up marrying a fool there is no point getting married celebrating your marriage today only in the month you already in big trouble I’d rather be happy single than miserable married what’s the point of marriage though is it just for sexual activity no no and I was telling you last week if you knew you were not here last we go back to my message and I told you God never makes humans for sex not a dirty words on God made humans For intimacy intimacy goals deeper than sexuality a lot of our young men who are deployed in Iraq and Iran did come back here invalid unable to be sexual would that be the end of the marriage for this 23 year old no no why because God did not make us just for sexual activity but for intimacy intimacy means I offer myself to you for better for worse I belong to you you belong to me it’s not me it’s not you it’s us now we belong to each other so when you go you are still a single lady you made me do it ever you want to meet the person you can meet them in the school in the mall on the Internet wherever you wanna meet the person but make sure when you date you are being real explain your values right away establish your values right away some people Man it’s been too long nobody’s ever looked at me but I don’t wanna lose this one I’d rather lose that one Jesus is this if you ask the father for a fish he will not give you a snake if you believe in the God you serve and you say God give me the man give me the woman you can trust also God but if this one goes the other one will come in the Bible when king Saul realize that David has been annoyed I need to take him out he was trying to find a way to put David down and he found a witness his daughter Michael was in love evacuated with David and in first Samuel chapter 18 somewhere down there it says this king Saul saying I will give David my daughter Michael so that she will be a snare on to him some of you who are still single thank God you are single thank God and by the way If you’re not happy a single person forget about marriage because what marriage does it magnifies who are you already are if you are a jerk as a single person getting married will make you a jerk if you are an abusive person getting married you will abuse the other poor person for no reason a woman went to Angel Walmart in Colorado Springs and told Angel I don’t know what’s the matter with my husband he such a jerk I just can’t stand him anymore he doesn’t cook he doesn’t wash dishes he doesn’t change bed but shit which by the way I don’t understand why do we change bedsheets on our beds anyway and I’m going there anyway to change that shit Jessica who’s gonna come in the house it’s just you and I anyway are we trying to impress him or are we inviting somebody I will change the bedsheets when we have guests over Come on brother come on sister got the brother some snacks anyway change your bedsheets OK I’ll start trouble and your family over bedsheets all right let’s let’s go what what was I talking about by the way I should’ve stayed under the anointing now I’m all over thank you thank you sir so she is that the more the grass he doesn’t help me with anything and it was wait a second is this bad yeah he’s he’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me do you love them I don’t know if I love him anymore OK so he doesn’t do any of these things about before marrying you was he doing these things oh yeah who is the nicest guy he was always opening the car door for me he was bringing me flowers he treated me like a queen like a princess OK before marrying you He was such a nice guy right yeah it was since he’s married he’s become a monster yeah now I know where the problem is this boy you say he was a nice guy before me and you ever since he’s met you he’s become a monster and see what you’ve done to this guy you are the problem this guy would’ve been a nice guy but another lady she would’ve done see the problem is this if you are a jerk as a single person you will be a jerk as a married person when I say when you date you need to have a focus I’m getting married think about this marriage is not for men and women no show me that’s the verse proverbs chapter 18 verse 22 marriage is not the one for men and women see what the Bible says they’re cool so find a woman right also find her for a girl also find it a wife find out what a good friend and you hear of tennis That means that marriage is not for you to find a woman marriage is not for a man and a woman marriage is for a husband and a wife a man and a woman it’s all about me me me marriage is a wife and a husband it’s not Mimi it’s us asked us what does the word of God say the husband has no authority over his body it’s the wife the wife has no authority over her body husband when you want to get married the thing you wanna do is give up all everything about you except for your identity in Christ you give up what what are you giving up you’re giving up even your body it’s no longer yours in the Bible says he who does not love his wife hates himself really How do I stay single until you think and think and think and don’t let pressure put you into marriage don’t get married by because I’m getting too old to you talking about you getting to old Mill problem is work on yourself most of us we watch too much movies you read too many magazines everything about you has never been about God it’s always been what you been watching what is the lead fashion what’s on moving out watching TV what’s on the books take your time come back to yourself get in touch with yourself get in touch with your soul get in touch with your spirit am I ready to be a husband most brothers are not husbands they’re just boys that’s why the building other peoples girls your wife is not your mother to take good care of you she’s not and I told you we don’t get married for love If you need love you need a parent you don’t need a spouse why are we getting married we are getting married because God says it’s not good for man to be alone we are getting married because we are ready to abandon the Bible says man shall leave his father and his mother body for the woman so leave her father and her mom that means the moment you say I do to this person forget about your or your physical biological family now this is family who is more important your father or your husband who is more important than your wife or your mom OK it was easy to answer that right when it was the women it was easy the truth is this your mother is not less important the Bible says honor your father and your mother I’m not talking about putting your parents down your parents are very important to you Disrespect your parents as long as you can help them know price is too high to help your parents your parents are precious but remember you’re your wife and you belong to each other and the Bible says you have to leave your father and your mother but why are we getting married we are getting married because we want to belong to each other so when you go out on a date let’s say we have a single person here you’ve been married before before you’ve had a relationship before you want to be careful what are you in this for I just wanna have fun it’s been too long since the last time I had sex shame on you shame on you shame on you because if if you’re going to get married for physical gratification you will always look at that person as a toy for your pleasure and you’re not ready to be a wife you just want to be a woman you’re not ready to be a husband And you just wanna be a man when you are sex oriented do you think about performing dating I want you to go with me to Matthew chapter 1 verse five and six and I’ll show you something quickly are we doing good on time so far I’m still on the single people because I do realize we have some single people here and if you’re a single person put value on yourself you’re not desperate if that man is not ready to be a husband he just want to be a playboy better goal or cares about him God will give you another one you’re not too desperate and Salman that name I’ll say salmon because I don’t want to sound like salmon or fish but salmon bigger balls which is Boaz of rehab bigot or bed of Ruth and obey bigger Jesse and Jesse we get there with the king and David came to get Solomon off That had been the wife of Urias look at the three women name their rehab do you see that name you see the other name roof and the last one Matthew doesn’t even do her justice not even name her name and her receipt of her to say this word H.E.R. her what do you think he’s talking about there but Sheba so I want you to look at these three women they have something in common a lot of thing common rehab rules but Sheba rehab was a prostitute you can find a story and Joshua chapter 2 roof is the Moabitess according to the law of Moses in Deuteronomy doing not allowed to come in till the 10th to the temple of God she was a widow she’s the there’s a whole book in the Bible called the book of Ruth she had already lost her husband and look at the last the next one this is a woman who was almost raped Oh but for clean word let’s just respect David kicking David and say she cheated on her husband and because of her husband was dead all these three women one thing I want you to notice is they got the best relationships not on the first time for the second time and they appear in the genealogy of Christ Jesus why would God use all go through a woman who was a prostitute had been selling her body for money a woman who was from a cursed people and a woman who was adult adulterous and adulterous for me it’s an image to all the ladies and the guys here some of you before coming to Christ you were very promiscuous you had been sexually active so many ways that at this point you don’t even have respect for yourself You have a person here who God hand-picked regardless of her past cleaned her up and put her in the lineage of Christ to remind you guys and girls don’t let your past determine your future simply because you had done some evil some bad things in the past it does not mean it’s the end of the line this woman rehab then have a good life we don’t even know that those two spies who want to stay with her they probably had something there and yet God saw value in her and I’m here to remind all of you the Bible says forgetting those things which are behind I press forward the mock up because of what’s ahead of me and you guys if you made a woman who has had a long past don’t lets that stops you from the best thing that Never happened to you I know some women who have children I need to single and they feel because I have children nobody will look at me brother have you ever heard the story of Jesus Joseph was not Jesus’s biological father that’s cool they’re the same chapter 1 let’s start from first 18 let’s be down there let’s take it slowly first 18 through 25 Matthew chapter 1 verse 2018 to 25 what does the Bible say now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise one as his mother Mary was a spouse to Joseph before they came together she was found with child off the Holy Ghost then Joseph her husband just being a just man look look look what a good man does they were not married yet but look how the Bible describes him as a husband not as a guy because if you are not a husband you’re not ready for marriage you’re ready for yours Set of being a jerk nobody’s gonna get some sleep no no no you’re not ready for marriage being a husband being adjustment let’s read it and not willing to make her a public example good husband will always protect his wife good husband will always cover the wife doesn’t mean the condom with the wife do anything private he will he will talk to the wife and bring her back but he will do his best he was going to get rid of her but did not want to embarrass her but as a husband it’s not going around telling in the whole world and putting it on Facebook I’m not a husband jerk you’re just a playboy I don’t want to make a public example of her but why he thought on these things behold angel of the Lord appeared on to him in a dream Saint Joseph now son of David for you not to Anthony married I wife can you imagine this woman was pregnant with Jesus and Joseph was thinking of putting her away all my brothers you guys who are looking for the sinus thing what do you want in a wife I want her to have the skin tone I want this weight I want her to have this this big whatever that is and that’s a little too small whatever that is you may pass the best thing ever that woman was pregnant now we all talk about the face of Mary and how she was such a good woman do you know how much faith it took for Joseph to walk with a woman and she’s pregnant the only explanation she has for you God did it to me it took a lot of faith for this man to just walk with her don’t let a persons past determine the future you are a woman This guy they have to three kids don’t let that be a burden Abraham Lincoln right his mom and dad had divorced his dad had married a new wife called Mary or Sarah Sarah not Mary Mary was his wife Sarah when she came she found Abraham and his brothers they had been starving do you know they drop in between Kentucky and Illinois were starving for weeks they went on eating just apples and when they arrived there Mary Sarah and Thomas dad when she walked in there she saw these kids she said all I saw was skeletons Abraham and all her brothers were nothing but bones when when Abraham saw the new wife and the dad ran into her and he hugged her and he cried so barely oh shit It was kept kissing his head and in her book she said without that hug he would never had time to be America’s greatest president what do we think God for Abraham Lincoln for he’s the man who ended slavery just just realize that the man the woman who groomed him up was not his biological mom to be a mother doesn’t mean the child has to come out of you to be a father doesn’t mean the child has to come out of our out of you you made me the woman today who has been married three times or three times don’t let the past determine the future most people in the first marriage may have been abused no the last point I want to make before I move on quickly and in this why is people don’t go on a date without the wise counsel of a spiritual leader of a minister do you know there’s a guy you know there’s a girl that you love it all What is good to fall back on a pastor on a minister your cell group leader or a trust advice and say there’s this person what advice would you give me because usually what happens is you are so infatuated thinking you’re you’re in love and you think I love the person it takes more than love to have a marriage but the wise counsel of a shepherd of a pastor or of a sister in the Lord may help avoid help you avoid blind spots so if you wanna date somebody don’t be too proud about it oh I’m just want to keep it on the secret I don’t want to church in a stick in the nose in my business I may be a big big mistake I’m already married I’m not looking for a wife I’m only helping you helping you either I’m just trying to help you so don’t be hard hotheaded getting wise counsel On a person who has the vine wisdom is a blessing premarital sex it’s a sin is a sin against God it’s a sin against yourself when when you are a married man and you are a husband and a wife don’t take each other for granted because it’s easy to take each other for granted when you’re married and then you wake up in the morning oh she has no her wig on the make up is not there anymore they look so plain and I’m not sure what kind of shakes you a little bit and he walks around is stinky he’s making music with this side and other side is making music and whatever that means you take each other for granted because when you are together you stink you smell you don’t realize how precious you are to each other and in them Next you’ll forget each other so being a married person it’s a good thing to date each other when you date each other what are you doing you are not getting ready to get married you are enhancing the marriage that you have we live here in Northern Virginia and Maryland and Washington DC the pace of life here is very busy because we have traffic what do you do when you’re a married person you need to get out of here go to Virginia Beach go to Delaware all go to Kentucky go to Ohio somewhere way to Little Rock what does no cell phone service where you could just be the two of you the two of you when you go on a date right take a good shower put cologne on yourself be so be so good your work hours and It’s so easy to forget to complement each other I am trying to make sure that I don’t complement other women too much one thing I have learned about other people’s wife is don’t make too many comments either positive or negative tried to keep it as minimal as possible and keep all that comment for the one you have it’s so easy for us to see what’s beautiful on the other side you know how to say the grass is always greener on the other side that’s why you need to refresh your love for one another how do you refresh go out go out to dinner with some people like to go to movies I hate going to movies naturally I like it when it’s quiet and I tell you all of my brothers and sisters here you deserve a date we are already October Sex when was the last time U2 went on a date this year I’m not talking about when did you go to dinner no it’s time to break familiarity right now I’m gonna use your mature audience here because I have kids here and I’m gonna say something please put one and one together and if I’m used to eat rice right in the same place at the same time at some point doesn’t feel good it’s awful much better if I go eat at Ray’s at the Hilton all right OK let me let us it’s time to revive something right OK did you get what I’m saying let’s stand on accident call wrecked